Death Is Nothing but a Moment's Rest

(Published by permission of Nicholas Gordon)

Death is nothing but a moment's rest

Until the Second Coming of the Lord

When He shall gather to Him of the best

To take them to the place of their reward.

I've felt the power of Jesus in my soul

Shining like a golden sun within,

Melting my hard heart to make me whole,

Burning out the remnants of my sin.

I've felt Him work within me, so I know

The glory that will come when I awake.

I'll sleep just like a child who'll homeward go,

And in my dreams of love great pleasure take.

So do not mourn my death, and do not grieve.

The Lord will come for me: This I believe.

Survive Love Grief

by Molly Barrow

In everyone's life, there is the one love affair that in spite of giving all that you have to the relationship, your partner still breaks your heart. The sharp jab to your belly and excruciating pain of abandonment is unique in its ability to incapacitate you and make you do regrettable blunders. The desperate attempts to save what you alone believe is a relationship worth saving produces humiliating encounters with your ex-love that hurt you even more. If your beloved happily moves on to a new love, you are left alone to wither and cry without the benefit of your lovers healing embrace. What can you possibly do to feel better? Here are five techniques to help you survive love grief.

1. Keep the Love

You do not have to stop loving someone just because you do not see your partner any more. Even if the relationship is over, the time you spent together will always be a part of your life. The good quality love that you gave was a beautiful part of you and you can keep warm memories of the good times for the rest of your life - even if he or she acted badly. The worst pain is trying to force yourself to stop loving someone before you are ready to let go. So, don't.

2. Stop Trying to Control

You cannot control what someone else feels or does in the relationship. You can control the kind of partner that you select, and how much you are willing to sacrifice for that partner. The more obsessive and controlling you are in a dying relationship, the longer you will cling to the crumbs that someone tosses you. Sometimes you have to take some humiliating moments as you wrestle with letting go. Sometimes a clean break can be very harsh if you have isolated yourself from your friends. No one should take verbal or physical abuse in the name of love, but sometimes you have to stay longer than you should, just to begin to restructure your life.

3. What Are the Odds

Can you meet someone in high school, marry and stay together forever? You can, but it happens rarely these days. You have probably broken it off with other people in the past that you had grown tired of and perhaps, they suffered. You may have felt badly about hurting them, but you were over them and moved on. The difference here is only who walked away first. Most relationships fail, until you find the Right One.

4. Better to Have Loved

When you are ninety years old, would you want to say you played it safe and never took the risk of getting hurt? You have known love. That is a success in life. It does not matter if you were treated rudely, had your heart walked on or someone cheated on you. That is a story about them, not you. You loved and no matter how it ended, be proud that you are capable of caring.

5. It Only Hurts For a Long Time

If you have truly loved someone with all your heart and lost before, then you know it may take six months to a year to recover from the grief. If it is your first broken heart, it may seem like the pain will never end. However, it will. Go to a therapist as soon as you break up and make it easier on yourself for the first month or two. Everyday you go through the motions and after several months, you realize that you forgot the pain for a little while. At that moment, you will realize that you will survive this broken heart and learn to love again.

Dr. Molly Barrow, Ph.D. Clinical Psychology, http://www.drmollybarrow.com, American Psychological Association, is host of The Dr. Molly Barrow Show on Progressive Radio Network, author of Matchlines for Singles, Matchlines Relationship Quiz, Malia & Teacup Awesome African Adventure and Malia & Teacup Out on a Limb, http://www.maliaandteacup.com and quoted in O, The Oprah Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, New York Times, CNN.com, Match.com and has appeared in films and television news.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Molly_Barrow

To Lose Someone Who's Loved You All Your Life

(Nicholas Gordon by Permission)

To lose someone who's loved you all your life,

Having held you long against the darkness,

And felt the press of friends upon your sadness,

Need cutting through your torment like a
knife . . .

Kindness is a sign of inner plenty:

Yours does much to mitigate my pain.

Of grief comes neither clarity nor gain

Unless friends fill its passion with their beauty.

Wondering About Heaven?

I know that it is a place everyone wants to go who feels they have been good, done good toward others, thereby earning the right to entrance into God’s heaven. Claire gives us something to think about.  

Learning to See Heaven –

By Claire Vorster

    'I have come home at last! This is my real country. I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now...' CS Lewis, The Last Battle.

Do you ever think you were made for another time, or at least a simpler time? To put it another way, do you know that feeling you get when you have had the most perfect holiday and then you have to go back to reality? When you have been somewhere where your soul finds peace and then you have to leave.

It's almost like we get a taste or a whisper of another country. Another, better place that calls to us. Maybe that's why the song 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' is still so popular... where troubles melt like lemon drops, that's where you'll find me. I was thinking about that other country when I wrote this:

Whispers

Are You watching from the Heavens,

Are You higher than the sky?

Are You looking down on us,

Or are You outside of our time?

Can You hear the prayer I'm praying,

Can You see inside my heart?

Can I find You in this moment,

Or am I wishing on a star?

Higher than a star can climb,

And deeper than the night,

I hear whispers of another land,

That's hidden from my sight.

Where angels kiss the rain away,

And darkness turns to light the day,

And we will dance while children play,

Through the rainbows...

And I, oh I, I'm coming back to You, my Lord,

I'm coming back to You, my Lord.

You have always been beside me,

You have always been my friend,

You were there at the beginning,

And in You there is no end.

I can hear the sound of thunder,

I can feel the ocean breeze,

I can see right through the rainbow,

Past the forest and the trees.

And I, oh I, I'm coming back to You, my Lord,

I'm coming back to You, my Lord.

    'If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.' CS Lewis

Why not listen out for those whispers this week?

Claire Vorster is a professional writer with 20 years successful Corporate writing experience, both in the US and the UK. She specializes in inspirational and motivational writing and editing for Corporate clients, magazines, newspapers and online markets.

Claire writes a daily inspirational Blog and is equally at home with WordPress, social networking including Facebook and Twitter, list building and SEO.

Claire writes persuasive and precise motivational copy. With your voice, to your brief, to your deadline.

For writing samples or to contact Claire, please visit -

http://www.clairevorster.com

http://www.clairesteaparty.com

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Discover “You Are You!” and what it means (click here).

Oh, Death, Your Sting Is So Great!

Yesterday I lost another friend. She fell to cancer of the liver. I miss her already. I wanted her to live. I tried to encourage the fight within. I prayed and believed, but she is gone. It happened quickly. She didn’t suffer.

My heart feels the pain. I haven’t visited the family yet as they are preparing for her burial. I just need time to let my feelings settle down. I want to be a blessing to them, a strength in the time of this stormy moment.

There are no answers I find, as to why some live and some die. I’ve known and still know cancer survivors who have made it through, still living; my husband is one of those. Sometimes I wish I had answers for the many families I have encountered, but I don’t.

My friend is not suffering any more. She has crossed over. Her last conversation with me before she went home from the hospital: “Earth or heaven, either way I will be all right.”

I could see she was weaning. In my heart I refused to accept it, but life seemed to be draining from her body. Where do I go from here, Lord?

Strengthen me. Help me to stay the course. Again, I face the reality that we

don’t have control over death. It comes whether we are ready or not.

I find comfort in writing these feelings, sharing them, helps me to sort through. The tears won’t come yet, perhaps when I see her laying there, in the midst of everyone else, maybe then I can weep, or maybe not.

I have accepted the truth: life is like a vapor, now it’s here; now it’s gone. My desire is that when my time is finished that I would have served my fellow man with the gifts God has given me because in that I would have no regrets.

God, help me to be strong, comfort me, for I indeed am in need of comfort.

Someone Is Grieving: Say What You Feel In Poetry

Each of us some day sooner or later will lose someone. The hardest thing is to know what to say to the grieving family. Why not send a poem? At least it will keep you from putting your foot in your mouth.

 

I Would Not Be the Sun to End Your Night

( Nicholas Gordon by permission)

         

I would not be the sun to end your night,

Nor would I be the wall to turn your tears.

But I will watch with you until it's light.

Because there are no words to set things right

Nor hopes that one immersed in mourning hears,

I would not be the sun to end your night,

Offering a wisdom far too bright

To soothe your pain or put to rest your fears.

But I will watch with you until it's light.

There must be time to grieve that sorrow might

Be equal to the love of days and years.

I would not be the sun to end your night.

For grief, before it breaks, must reach its height,

And tides must turn before one homeward steers.

But I will watch with you until it's light.

There are agonies no friendship can requite,

A bitterness unstained till dawn appears.

I would not be the sun to end your night.

But I will watch with you until it's light.

Grief Has Many Faces

Today my thoughts are on the many faces of grief. This emotion that takes control, casts you down into a pit, stomps on you, steals your joy, fills you with anguish, rides your back like a Gorilla, clutters your mind with fear, doubts and hopelessness

Is death the only time in my life where I have felt these feelings? What about you? Does any of this read familiar to you? I think that we stock up our grief in little piles within and never let go. Why do we hold on? Let me speak for me: because I wanted to preserve it, without even realizing it. Why would you want to keep grief locked up inside? Maybe it’s fear of the loss of something you have felt safe with, or the fear of being vulnerable.

What are my piles that I’ve stacked up? The separation and abandonment of both parents at 7 years old; losing my grandmother as the next caregiver in line to care for me in the absence of my parents. I grieved the loss of my innocence for over 30 years, the violations that stole my purity.

There, I’ve said it. It’s out. These were my grief piles that I had forgotten about. Locked them away and never wanted to re-visit them again.

What are you grieving? Perhaps you are struggling with grief and through my sharing, you might identify your piled up grief moments that you have never let go of. Maybe it’s time to address them, so that you can be free, so you can move on.

You can still find joy in the midst of the challenges of life. The Joni Eareckson Tada Story (click here)

Re-Building Your Life After A Love One Dies Begins Now!

What a challenging moment. We don’t love to lose. We never think about dying, yet it happens. Is it possible to accept the change and go on with your life? Susan did it and so can you.

Get Up, Get Dressed, Get Out - The Power of a Woman to Create a New Life After Widowhood

By Susan Beer

Get up. Get dressed. Get out. Yes! It's hard. Your husband, or significant other, someone you cared deeply about, has passed. You are alone. You want to waddle in your sadness, in your coulda, woulda, shouldas, in what was and is no more. People listened to your woe is me, they sympathized in the beginning, maybe the first month, maybe longer but... now it is time to realize you are your own "I am" and focus on yourself. No one else will.

I know how it is, how it feels. Been there, done that. I described it as hell on wheels in the beginning and seeming non-ending. The wheels just continued to turn. I felt lost and hurt and wondered will it ever end, when will it end and, most important, who was I now. As time advanced, though, I realized I was changing, I was healing. I was accepting both his passing and my new life as a single woman again. Was there any other choice? No! None. It was simply my reality.

But, I was blessed and I knew it. When my husband passed, he left me with the words, "I want to be with you but I can't. Move on Without Me." He encouraged me to live, to start a new life. His life had ended, mine had not, and I had a lot more to do. Sharing what I had learned was the first step... and much thanks to his love.

His encouragement began my evolution and maybe my revolution. It was definitely the original catalyst. But, it was me that did it. I lived and learned... and particularly to focus on all the good, how much I had gained from being married to him. I remembered to remember. If I had a regret - and I had many -, I learned to treat it as a learning experience. I would have that honeymoon next time! I would go on that trip, buy that property I loved. I learned that people changed, friendship changed and to accept. Life was ever-changing. I was changing. I would do and be me.

A new me did emerge and continues daily to do so. I give thanks every day for him, for my wonderful remembrances, for who I was, for who I am now, and for who I am becoming. If I can do it, you can too!

Susan C. Beer - "Move on Without Me," Susan's first novel was published June 22, 2010 by Hatherleigh Press with distribution by Random House. Rather than focusing on woe is me after her husband's passing, Susan focuses on all she has gained and remembers to remember her many blessings. It's all about the power of thinking positively. As a psychologist friend said, "it is a testament to Andrew, to the life that you both shared, to living and loving and to all of us that we continue to grow, that we continue to open doors and that we need to face adversity with courage and grace...that pain hurts but can also be our friend if we are not afraid to face the challenges and pain of loss and move on." http://www.moveonwithoutme.com, scb@moveonwithoutme.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_Beer

More Suggestions: Do you need to shape up? Take off a few pounds? Or just feel good about who you are again? (click here)

Spouse Death: When and How to Start Packing Things Up

Your spouse has died. Friends and family are slowly disappearing. The calls are few and far between. Everywhere you look in the house reminds you of your loss. The pain of the loss is still overwhelming.

Is this the time to pack up everything? For some, it is. Packing up, getting rid of won’t make the tears or the pain stop. Grieving is natural. It is a part of the life cycle. Nothing lasts forever, especially the life of us as humans.

On the other hand, if you want to put those memories away quicker, that is your choice. You will still have feelings whether you do it now or later. The tears still flood your eyes day and night. It is okay to be angry at the uncontrollable tears. It will pass, and so will the tears.

It is okay to think about the good things. That was your gift, so cherish those final thoughts for however long it takes. When you are ready to let go, get your boxes, and pack them up one by one, as if you are gently letting go, laying away treasure.

Some suggestions on where to start:

Your Husband:

1.     Clothes(Pants, suits, shirts, ties, undergarments, socks, belts, sweaters, coats)

2.     Shoes (sneakers, dress shoes, sandals, slippers)

3.     Personal Care (Shavers, razors, cologne’s cuff links)

4.     Books (Magazines, etc.)

5.     Hats

6.     Fishing / Sports Items

7.     Tools

8.     Albums of pictures (optional)

Your Wife:

1.     Clothes (Pantsuits, pants, jackets, blouses, scarves, undergarments, stockings, socks, belts, sweaters, coats, dresses, skirts)

2.     Shoes (sneakers, dress shoes, slippers, sandals)

3.     Personal Care (Hair dryers, razors, perfumes, hair care

4.     Books (Magazines, etc.)

5.     Hats

6.     Sports Items      

 7. Albums of pictures (optional)    

Note: Jewelry can be sold, or given away

Label the boxes with the names of the items it contains. Don’t rush to call the Salvation Army yet. Have everything placed in the garage, or stacked all together in one place until you’re ready to finish your “Letting Go Ceremony.” This gives you time to decide what will be passed on to your children, if any of it, or to family members, friends or charity.

Children and friends may attempt to rush you because they don’t want to see you in pain.  Let them know that you will be okay, and that you will do it when you are ready.

Grieving a loved one can take time. Writing those feeling moments into a journal where they won’t be judged is a great way to release and heal. Need some place to jot down those thoughts? You might benefit from journals like this, Green Embossed Tree of Life Leather Journal - Lined