How many times have you found yourself greeting the family of someone who has died not knowing what to say? Whatever you said, you realized later that it probably wasn’t the right thing. I don’t know if anyone has come up with a book with the right words to say to avoid that foolish feeling.
Here are some words you might have heard yourself saying, or someone saying to you at your moment of grief:
“It’s going to be all right.”
“God knows what’s best.”
“You’ve got to move on with your life.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Your daddy was a good man.”
“Your mama was a wonderful, caring human being.”
“You’ll have another child.”
“Don’t Cry.”
“It’s going to be rough, but you’re tough.”
“He’s better off.”
“She’s better off.”
“This has never happened to me. You poor dear.”
“God needed them home, so let’em go.”
“What can I do for you?”
“If you need anything, let me know.”
Is there anything on this list that would be okay to say in a situation of grief? The person grieving is in a fog, they hear and don’t hear, depending upon what is said. No matter what is said, they will be respectful because they realize you probably don’t know what to say.
So let’s start a list of what to say. What do you think? When I don’t know what to say, I hug in silence. I bring a gift and say “I love you.” And I plan to quietly keep in touch after all of the fanfare is over, everyone goes back to his or her place.
Read about other people’s lives at www.realstoriesrealpeople.blogspot.com
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