Spouse Death: When and How to Start Packing Things Up

Your spouse has died. Friends and family are slowly disappearing. The calls are few and far between. Everywhere you look in the house reminds you of your loss. The pain of the loss is still overwhelming.

Is this the time to pack up everything? For some, it is. Packing up, getting rid of won’t make the tears or the pain stop. Grieving is natural. It is a part of the life cycle. Nothing lasts forever, especially the life of us as humans.

On the other hand, if you want to put those memories away quicker, that is your choice. You will still have feelings whether you do it now or later. The tears still flood your eyes day and night. It is okay to be angry at the uncontrollable tears. It will pass, and so will the tears.

It is okay to think about the good things. That was your gift, so cherish those final thoughts for however long it takes. When you are ready to let go, get your boxes, and pack them up one by one, as if you are gently letting go, laying away treasure.

Some suggestions on where to start:

Your Husband:

1.     Clothes(Pants, suits, shirts, ties, undergarments, socks, belts, sweaters, coats)

2.     Shoes (sneakers, dress shoes, sandals, slippers)

3.     Personal Care (Shavers, razors, cologne’s cuff links)

4.     Books (Magazines, etc.)

5.     Hats

6.     Fishing / Sports Items

7.     Tools

8.     Albums of pictures (optional)

Your Wife:

1.     Clothes (Pantsuits, pants, jackets, blouses, scarves, undergarments, stockings, socks, belts, sweaters, coats, dresses, skirts)

2.     Shoes (sneakers, dress shoes, slippers, sandals)

3.     Personal Care (Hair dryers, razors, perfumes, hair care

4.     Books (Magazines, etc.)

5.     Hats

6.     Sports Items      

 7. Albums of pictures (optional)    

Note: Jewelry can be sold, or given away

Label the boxes with the names of the items it contains. Don’t rush to call the Salvation Army yet. Have everything placed in the garage, or stacked all together in one place until you’re ready to finish your “Letting Go Ceremony.” This gives you time to decide what will be passed on to your children, if any of it, or to family members, friends or charity.

Children and friends may attempt to rush you because they don’t want to see you in pain.  Let them know that you will be okay, and that you will do it when you are ready.

Grieving a loved one can take time. Writing those feeling moments into a journal where they won’t be judged is a great way to release and heal. Need some place to jot down those thoughts? You might benefit from journals like this, Green Embossed Tree of Life Leather Journal - Lined